Have a Heart - Part Six: Picnic? Picnic.

It was Tuesday. Lewis had rang me back later that same evening and we talked for almost an hour. Nothing in particular, just movies and tv. Music. We also arranged the picnic. He insisted on sorting out the food - after all, he said, it was him who suggested it. 

He told me he would swing by in the car at 12:30 and to bring some sunglasses. And so it was that by 9 this morning I was up, showered, brushed my teeth and dressed. Was I eager? Oh yes. Over eager? Probably. But this time was different, I told myself. Lewis was perfect, he was everything the others weren’t. It felt as if there was nothing he could do to hurt me.

My phone chirped to itself. A text, from Lewis “shouldn't be too long, just having to dodge through some unusually thick traffic - I swear they dig up the roads for fun!”. I checked my watch - 12:24. I couldn't help myself pacing the living room, I had so much I wanted to say! I stood by my mirror and gave myself a look over. My hair was up, and I went light on the makeup. I was wearing a short sleeved stripy shirt with some baggy black jeans and my dark blue converse. I wanted him to know I could dress smart, but at the same time I didn't want to try too hard. I think I nailed it.

Knock, knock knock, knock.

“Helena?” I could just make out Lewis’ muffled voice behind the door.

“Coming!” I called.

I tossed my phone into my handbag before snatching it up and tucking it under my arm. I took one last look in the mirror and straightened my shirt. This was it, it was really happening! I took a deep breath and stepped outside, locking the door behind me. 

“You look great.” He said simply.

“My god its sunny today.” I said.

“I said, you look great.” He repeated, putting his hands on his hips.

“What? Oh.” I laughed, putting on my sunglasses. “Thank you.”

“After you!” He said, extending his arm towards the red Vauxhall in my drive.

“I didn't have you down as a Vauxhall man.” 

“Well in an ideal world it would be a Lamborghini.” He chuckled. “But its not, so..”

Even with the air conditioning on the car was incredibly warm. I had intended on leaning on the armrest in the door and gazing out of the window but it seemed the sun had other ideas. Instead, I folded my arms in my lap and leaned back.

“The spot I picked isn't too far.” He said, starting the engine. “I’d say about what, fifteen minutes drive?”

“I never asked.”

“What?” He said with a sideways glance.

“Not about the park, silly!” I giggled. “What music do you listen to?”

“Oh. Right.” He sighed. “Have a look through the ipod - mostly alternative, indie kinda rock. The Killers, Arctic Monkeys. That kinda stuff.”

“Arctic Monkeys huh..?” I muttered, fingering the ipod.

He wasn't wrong when he said he liked his alt rock - Franz Ferdinand, The Vaccines, Vampire Weekend… He did redeem himself a little with Three Days Grace and Linkin Park, but for the most part I couldn't stomach his choices in music. That, would change in time, I smiled to myself.

“Mind if I put on some of mine?” I asked.

“Sure, whatever you like!” He said. “Nothing on there really strike your fancy then?”

“Its not that, its just not stuff im in the mood for right now.”

I pulled my ipod from my handbag and queued up a playlist of The Police, Seether and Five Finger Death Punch - some of the more pleasant tracks on there, just incase he wasn't as much a fan of the heavier songs I owned.

He was right about it taking about fifteen minutes - we were parked up about half way through a random Coldplay song (I put it on shuffle after the playlist ended, don't ask!). We didn't really speak much on the way. I was kinda nervous about saying what I wanted to, especially while he was driving, but I would get a chance soon.

The park was fairly busy for a week day, but then I remembered that the schools closed for summer holidays a couple weeks back. Lewis hefted the hamper from the boot and we looked for a nice quiet spot. It took us a while, but we found one - a nice shaded area with a few trees. An elderly couple were sat on a bench by the pond feeding the ducks, but other than that everyone else was elsewhere enjoying the sun.

“Close your eyes a second.” He said.

“Huh?” 

“Just do it a second.”

I did as he wanted and closed my eyes. I could hear him working away setting stuff up - the whoosh of a blanket and the clank of jars and tubs. How much food had he brought, I wondered. 

“Okay, you can open them now.” He whispered in my ear.

The sight that greeted me was beyond anything I had imagined for a picnic. He had literally brought what looked like half of Asda in that hamper. At least five kinds of sandwich, half a dozen bags of crisps, pickled eggs and onions… He really went to town on this.

“When you said picnic I wasn't expecting this.” I said.

“Is it not good enough?” 

“Its more than good enough!” I turned and hugged him.

“Woah there! We haven't even eaten yet.” He smiled.“Well we better fix that then.” I said as I took his hand in mine.

We sat there in the shade of the tree and ate probably far too much, but I didn't care. I don't think Lewis cared either. We talked about our favourite TV shows - he actually didn't fail here, we loved a lot of the same stuff, which was nice. We talked about our favourite parts and least favourite parts, and laughed at ourselves for being so silly. Eventually we cleared up everything but the blanket. Lewis was sat with his back against the tree with his legs stretched out. I took my chances and shuffled over, before laying with my head in his lap so I could look up into his eyes.

“So.” I said slowly. “Why so much food? You aren't planning on cooking me for christmas dinner I hope.”

“What?” He laughed. “Dear god no. I just didn't know what you liked so I figured a wide variety would be better… whatever we don't eat I can either stick in my fridge or swing by my brothers house and give it to my nephews.”

“Good.” I smiled as took his hand and placed it on my stomach. “Y’know… I really like you.”

“I never would have guessed.” He whispered, his free hand playing with my hair. “You don't mind do you?”

“If I did I wouldn't still be laying here, would I?”

“That uh… thats a fair point.”

“We are going to have to work on your music tastes though.” I said in a serious tone.

“Hah! Maybe.”

“There isnt a maybe about it mister!” I laughed, stroking his hand. “You need to open your mind to the good stuff dear.”

“Bollocks!” He chuckled. “There aint nothing wrong with the Arctic Monkeys. I know you wouldnt say no if you were locked in a room with Alex Turner…”

“I bloody would!” I cried. “He isnt my type.”

“And I am?” He said simply.

“...Yes.”

He laughed and pulled his hands away, resting them behind his head and closing his eyes. I sat up and pondered my next move. Do I move in for a kiss, I asked myself. Slowly I did, hands poised to pin him to the tree, my face mere inches from his.

“Ah ah ah!” He said, catching me by the arms. “Not yet!”

“What?” I feigned surprise. “I was just looking.”

“Mmhmm…” He hummed. “Thats what they all say.”

We both laughed and hugged each other. We sat there for a while, tangled in each others arms and watched the other people on the park. 

“It would be nice to do this again sometime.” I whispered.

“It would.” He agreed.

“No. I mean. With kids.”

“What are you trying to say?” He asked.

“Nothing!” I said, flustered. “Nothing at all. Nevermind!”

“Dont worry.” He said, brushing my cheek. “I was thinking it too.”

I gasped pulled away. What had I gotten myself into now?

“What's the matter?” He asked quietly. “The signs are all there.”

“Its just that I… I…” I couldn't finish the sentence.

“You what?” 

“Nothing. Dont worry about it.” I said, I could feel my cheeks turn bright red.

“If you say so.” He whispered, placing a hand on my shoulder.

“How about you stop over on Friday?” I asked.

“Friday huh? Yeah I can probably do Friday.”

“Good. I’ll teach you about music then.” I said, the smile returning to my face.

“So, shall we get going then?” He asked. “I’ll drive you home but its my turn to pick the tunes.”

“Thats fine by me.” I said, standing and stretching my stiff legs. 

Well, that could have gone a lot worse, I thought to myself as I watched Lewis shake off the blanket before rolling it and tucking it inside the hamper. 

“Shall we?” He said, holding out his hand.

“We shall, dear.” I said quietly.

Have a Heart - Part Five: Coffee to go!

It was half past eleven in the morning - it wasn't my idea to be out in the middle of town at this time of morning, especially after last nights escapade anyhow; but Tim (my best friend, I had known him since… well, since I can remember really.) insisted that I grab a coffee with him. And so, after barely four hours of sleep I managed to somehow arrive outside Starbucks to meet him.

“You look like shit.” He said, looking up from his paper.

“Nice to meet you too!” I said sarcastically.

“Oh please. You cant fool me.” He laughed, folding the paper and pushing open the door for me.

“Thats what you think…”

We walked inside and made our way to the counter. It was relatively empty for a friday morning.

“So, whats troubling you young padawan?” He asked with a sideways glance.

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“How long have I known you now? I know when something is up. C’mon, spit it out.”

“Can that wait until you have ordered?” the lady behind the counter squawked, looking mildly annoyed.

“Oh, im so sorry!” Tim said, faking sincerity. I chuckled to myself. “I’ll have… a Caffé Americano, and my lady friend here wants…”

“Ill just have a regular espresso, please.” I said, reaching for my purse.

“Dont worry, im paying.” He said, wallet already in hand.

I hesitated, I mean i'm more than capable of buying my own coffee, but this was Tim. He always bought me things… tickets to movies was the usual, but he had at times offered to buy me dinner. The dinner I always politely declined - I didn't want him getting any ideas, I honestly didn't think I was his type and I didn't want to hurt him, he was basically the one friend that had stuck with me when I needed him the most...

“Would you like that to go?” Starbucks lady asked.

“Yeah.” We said in chorus.

“Well…” I started.

“Well is never good!” He said with a scowl.

“Shut up and let me finish will you?” I said, matching his glare. “Ok, so to save a whole bunch of time, basically I met this guy… and i'm absolutely crazy about him even though we haven't started dating yet.”

“You seem pretty confident he would want to date you!” He said dryly.

“Pfft, no one can resist my charms!” I laughed.

“You are right about that…” He said under his breath.

“What?”

“Nothing. Shall we?” He said, handing me my coffee.

I shook my head and we left the store. The clouds had apparently all vanished and the sun lit everything in its incandescent glow. We walked a little way to a nearby green and perched ourselves on a bench to resume our talk.

“So, you like this guy then? Does he have a name?” He said.

“His name is Lewis. And like him? I told you i'm crazy about him! Can you keep a secret? I already told Mel.”

“You told Mel before me? Now I feel hurt.”

“You are still as childish as I remember dude.” I said with a smile. “Fine. The other night… I fantasized about him, in a way I have never even dreamt I could before.”

“Oh.” He said simply.

“Oh? Is that it?”

“Its more the fact that that isn't really an image I want in my head.” He said as he buried his face in his palm.

I opened my mouth to retort about his clawing enthusiasm to pry the information from me earlier but was interrupted by the unmistakable sound of the TARDIS materialising - my ring tone.

“Lewis?” Tim said quietly.

“Yeah. Im sorry - I kinda need to take this.” I said sincerely.

He waved his hand and turned his attention back to his paper. His face had dropped of course, and he drank his coffee in silence.

“Hey you.” Came Lewis’ voice.

“Good afternoon Lewis.” I said, barely able to contain my excitement at talking with him.

“How are you doing? I have some things to ask but if now isn't a good time…”

“Im fine. Been treated to coffee with a friend, catching up with him after not seeing him for months. Don't worry, now is great!”

“Okay. Right… I think i'll just say it, save prolonging it. How would you like to join me for a date sometime next week? A picnic perhaps? Weather should be nice…”

I sat frozen on the bench, almost to the point that I dropped my coffee. My heart felt like it was beating in my mouth and my jaw was somewhere by my feet. Tim looked over to check if I was alright and sighed.

“Yes. Oh god yes!” I squeaked.

“...Are you alright?” Lewis asked.

“I will be! Its just… Uh. Nevermind.”

“If you say so.” He said. “Listen, i'm going to have to call you back. Boss just pulled me back into the office.”

“I look forward to it.” I said, grinning like a buffoon.

“Talk to you soon, hot stuff.” Were his last words before hanging up.

I necked the rest of my coffee, not caring how hot it still was and tossed the paper cup into the trash. I felt light headed. I folded my hands around my phone and cradled it to my chest. I was fully expecting to be the one who had to make the first move, this threw me entirely off balance.

“So…?” Tim asked carefully.

“So? We are having our first date next week. He invited me out for a picnic!”

“Wonderful.” He said, stone faced.

“What's up with you?” I asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Nothing. Dont worry about it.” He shrugged my hand away and tucked the paper back under his arm. “It was nice seeing you again.”

“What, are you leaving already?” I asked. “We haven't really said much!”

“I just… I dont know. I have stuff I need to do.” He said peering into the distance. “Im sorry.”

We stood and I hugged him - he didn't return the embrace and merely stood there awkwardly. He genuinely looked confused about something…

“Well… I’ll see you around.” He mumbled before turning and leaving.

“Yeah…” I said, more to myself than anything.

I sat myself back on the bench and thumbed my phone for a few moments, lost in thought. Then it hit me. Tim liked me. Tim had feelings for me. I slapped my hand over my mouth, the realisation hitting me just as hard as the feelings had when Lewis had asked me out, except these directly conflicted. I had no idea what to do.

                    >Next Chapter<

Have a Heart - Part Four: Girls Night, Plus One

I arrived at Mel’s house at about 7pm, twelve bottles of lager in a bag in one hand, and two bottles of wine in a bag in the other.

“You must be psychic!” She laughed, opening the door and letting me inside.

“What do you mean?”

“Well uh…” She hesitated. “I kinda might have invited Lewis over too…”

“You did WHAT?” I cried, mouth agape.

“I thought you wouldn't mind!” She returned apologetically.

“I dont. Or at least, I wouldn't if you had told me earlier...”

I sighed and took the alcohol through to the kitchen, there wasn't any point arguing about things now. Mel followed me like a shadow and stood in the doorway.

“If I knew it would bother you this much I wouldn't have invited him over…” She said. “I just kinda figured it would be nice for you guys to get to know each other a bit better.”

“Hello! I had a sex dream about him last night, I definitely want to get to know him better! Just would have liked to know about it first!” I spat.

“Woah, woah, WOAH. Back up a second. You are already fantasizing about this guy?” She said, a smile spreading on her face.

“...Yes.” I blushed, turning my attention to filling the fridge with the beers.

“You naughty little bitch!” She chuckled. “Spill it!”

“Maybe we should have a drink first.” I suggested. “Whens he dropping by?”

“He said he would be here by 9, so we have time.”

I opened a pair of lagers and passed her one, and we sat ourselves down in the lounge. Apparently we were watching ‘The Descent’ first. Great, I thought to myself, another completely laughable attempt at a horror film. It wasn't long before Mel lost interest and started badgering me about my dream.

“Tell me!” She squealed. “Tell me, tell me, tell me!”

“Fine…”

I recounted as best I could - everything, from the draft on my arms from the open window, to the warm touch of his skin on mine. Everything. She listened gleefully to every detail, and asked more questions than I thought possible, or necessary. I was just getting to this mornings incident when I was interrupted by a loud knocking at the door.

“Speak of the devil.” Mel laughed.

“Hadnt you better go and let him in?” I blushed for the second time that night.

I looked about the room. How long had we been talking? There were 8 empty bottles of lager on the table, and I still had one half full in my hand. I glanced at my watch - half past 9? Christ time had flown by…

“Hi there.” Lewis said, standing in the doorway, eyes fixed on me.

“Oh! Uhm, hey!” I said, looking away.

“Why dont you take a seat? I'll go get us some more beers!” Mel said, disappearing into the kitchen. He looked great - his neatly trimmed beard framing his face just as well as his strong jawline and cheekbones. He slumped down on the other end of the sofa, one arm resting casually on the back, the other hanging over the side.

“What are we watching?” He said, motioning to the TV.

“Erm. We finished watching the Descent and kinda ended up talking about stuff so we still haven't swapped movie. D’you want to pick one?” I asked.

“Sure, what have we got?”

I reached over to the table and pulled the pile of DVDs towards me before passing them to Lewis. He flipped through them vacantly and passed them back, tapping at the one on top and grinning like an idiot. Antichrist.

“Theres only four bottles left so I brought the wine too.” Mel said, startling me.

“Alcohol is alcohol, who cares if its wine!” Lewis returned.

“True that brother.” She laughed, setting the glasses down and filling them. “So, what are we watching now?”

“Antichrist.” I sighed. “Lewis picked.”

“Cracking film.” She winked, slipping it into the dvd player.

I found myself more interested in watching Lewis than the TV. Minutes dragged into hours and soon we had pushed through Antichrist, and The Strangers too. Instead of getting up to change movies this time, Mel sauntered over and sat herself between me and Lewis.

“So.” She slurred, placing a hand on both mine and Lewis’ thighs. “Its getting late.”

“Yes, its getting late.” I echoed, standing and folding my arms.

“Helena don't be like that!” She said, throwing her arms around Lewis.

Unacceptable. Absolutely unacceptable. I looked from one to the other, regarding them with an icy stare. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

“Lewis. You better go.” I growled.

He stood and mumbled something, but did as he was asked. That left the incredibly drunk Mel to deal with. Wonderful.

“How dare you!” She started.

“How dare I? How dare you!” I snapped back.

“Last I checked, this was my house!”

“Yeah it is, but what you did was out of order.” I said, barely able to control my frustration.

“Oh, im sorry for wanting to have a bit of fun!” She spat, standing now to look me in the eyes.

We stood there, eyes locked, both taking deep, deliberate breaths in order to look intimidating. I opened my mouth to say something, but was shocked when Mel snaked her arms around my back and slipped her tongue into my mouth.

“What are you doing!?” I whispered, barely able to think.

“Shhhhhhhh.” She said, winking.

I merely stood, unable to move as she snogged the bejeezus out of me. It felt wrong of me to admit but I kinda enjoyed it… the way she kissed me was different than the guys I had been with; she was delicate and precise, completely the other end of the scale with what I was used to. And my word she smelled good.

“No but seriously.” I said, slowly sliding my hands around to cup her butt. “This is wrong.”

“Wrong? Maybe.” She giggled. “But it will be fun!”

I returned the kiss this time, savouring the taste of her lips and the feeling of her warm ragged breath. This was certainly an experience I wouldn't soon forget.

“The dream you had. I have been thinking about it all night, im crazy horny.” She gasped. “Fuck me right here you naughty bitch.”

“I dont know…” I said slowly.

“Oh, you know alright. If you wont make the first move then I will.”

Before I could protest she had slipped a hand down my knickers and started fingering me. I didnt want to be outdone, so I did the same to her; keeping one hand firmly clutching her ass I started stroking her clit.

“Mhmm.” She whispered into my ear. “Just like that you bitch.”

It didn't take long for us to make our way clumsily to the sofa, locked in our awkward embrace the whole time. The longer we played the more I was convinced this wasn't weird at all...

“Hold on.” She said, removing my hand from her crotch. “Let me go get some things. I wont be two minutes.”

Red faced she turned and went upstairs. Not knowing what else to do with my hands, I sucked the fingers I had penetrated Mel with. She tasted so sweet! My mind drifted a little and I started playing with myself, fondling my breasts and running a finger between the lips of my vagina.

“Come on, i'm getting bored down here!” I called.

“Give me a minute!” She called back. “Keep that pussy warm for me will you?”

I smiled and continued pleasuring myself for a while until Mel returned.

“So, what do you think?” came her voice from the doorway.

I turned to look and my jaw dropped. She was stood clad in nothing by a corset, a garter belt and a pair of thigh high stockings, and in one hand she held a fairly large dildo.

“I totally would.” I mouthed.

She flashed a smile and made her way over, taking a seat on my lap and placing her hands behind my neck.

“So you slut, who is fucking who? She whispered seductively.

“I think you should totally do me first.” I said, winking.

She brushed my nose with a finger and traced a line over my breasts.

“You have such magnificent tits.” She whispered into my ear. “I wonder how they taste?”

She pulled off my shirt and I unfastened my bra in record time, her tongue working wonders on my now exposed nipples. I licked my fingers again and resumed stroking her soft underside.

“Oh yes, just fantastic!” She breathed.

She stopped playing with my breasts and turned her attention to unfastening my jeans. I stopped my stroking to help her, and we slid them down to my ankles. She chuckled quietly and reached for the dildo.

“You aren't really going to stick that thing in me, are you?” I said, worried about the size.

“You bet your cute little tush I am!”

I barely had time to brace myself before it had penetrated me. She was gentle at first, and only pushed it in a couple of inches, but as she stroked my stomach plunged it deeper and deeper, twisting it left and right too.

“Oh my god!” I squealed. “Its too much!”

“Too much?” She laughed. “Not from what you told me earlier!”

She continued thrusting about seven inches of rubber dick inside me, but either due to this mornings play or just my damn hornyness recently I couldnt cope...

“Mel, im fucking going to cum.” I said through ragged breaths.

“Good to hear it!” She chirped.

Right away she pulled out the dildo and tossed it aside, choosing to attack my now incredibly wet pussy with her tongue. It didn't take her long to tease a squirt out of me, my mind going completely blank momentarily.

“You dirty slut! You didn't tell me you were a squirter!” She cried.

“I didn't know until this morning.” I chuckled, pushing myself up into a sitting position. “Your turn!”

“You better fuck me hard.” She said.

“Oh I will.”

She helped me to my feet and I slid off my jeans and panties from around my ankles. Mel opted to drop to her knees and slouch over the arm of one of the chairs. I took the dildo in my left hand and made my way to where she was waiting.

“We don't tell anyone about this, you understand?” I whispered.

“Definitely not!”

“But I think…” I said slowly. “We can do it again.”

“Fuck yeah!”

I dropped to my knees and spread her vagina slightly. Seeing my best friend like this turned me on in ways I couldn't imagine.

“You have such a pretty little pussy.” I laughed.

“Never had it called that before…”

I gave it one last stroke before plunging my tongue inside. She fiddled with herself and moaned quietly.

“Play with my ass too.” She asked.

“Um… No.” I said, firmly. “I think we will save that for another time. Tongue fucking you is weird enough!”

I wiped her juices from my chin and teased her with the end of the dildo before pushing it deep inside her. She gasped and had to steady herself, but I merely spanked her ass and toyed her harder and faster.

“That feels so good.” She purred.

“Its meant to!” I said, stroking her left buttock. “Now, get your ass on that sofa.”

I slipped the dildo out and waited for her to assume her position. She sat, legs spread, hands on her thighs. Her eyes regarded me with wanton lust. She was an absolute machine, I thought to myself.

“What are you waiting for?” She said. “Stick it in me!”

I was glad to oblige, this time grasping the dildo about halfway up its length; and opted to pump her as fast as I possibly could, only inserting it maybe three inches at most. With my other hand I groped her breasts and rubbed myself on her leg. There was something about seeing her bite her lip and lose herself in her orgasm made me feel good about myself.

“That was divine.” She whispered after regaining her composure.

“Im glad you liked it.” I said, kissing her softly on the cheek. “But its kinda late…”

“Oh christ yeah! I forgot about the time.”

“Can you clean up by yourself?” I asked, slipping my clothes back on hastily.

“Yeah I should be fine, don't worry about it.”

I pulled my tshirt back over my head and pulled Mel in for a tight hug.

“I love you dude. Don't change?” I said softly.

“Wouldn't change for the world, friendo.”

I released her slowly and let myself out. What a queer night - in more ways than one - I thought to myself as I made my way home.

                    >Next Chapter<

Have a Heart - Part Three: Thursday Morning

I awoke bleary eyed and cold. Why was I cold? I rolled over to check the alarm clock on the bedside cabinet and discovered the bed was soaking wet. I sat puzzled for a second while the events of last night flooded back to me. Flashes of images, hot and vibrant, so vivid appeared before me, and then faded.

“Lewis?” I called slowly. “Lewis?!”

No response came, of course, because ‘last night’ was just a dream. God dammit Helena, pull yourself together! You are Twenty Three years old and should have grown out of sex dreams a long time ago, I thought to myself. I rubbed my eyes and begrudgingly swung myself out of bed. Today was going to be a long day.

Grabbing my mobile and throwing on my dressing gown, I went downstairs to make some coffee and toast. Melissa had left me a message - ‘Are you still coming over tomorrow? Could do with some beers if you are!’ seeing as this was sent yesterday, the tomorrow would now be today. Fuck, I said under my breath. I forgot. I completely forgot about our girly night. I flicked on the kettle and rang Mel.

“Hello..?” Came her croaky greeting.

“I didn't wake you, did I?” I asked, spooning coffee and sugar into my mug.

“What do you think, smart arse!” She spat.

“I’ll take that as a no then, shall I?” I laughed. “So, tonights still happening?”

“Hell yeah its happening. Got plenty of films, and gossip. Just no beer!”

“Yeah yeah, I will fix that don't worry.” I said, filling my mug with boiling water and stirring.

“Good stuff. Hear anything from Lewis recently?”

“Funny you should say that…” I muttered.

“Come on, spit it out!” She said excitedly.

“Nope. My lips are sealed until tonight, at least.”

“Nawww. Whats the matter, cat got your tongue?”

“I just don't feel comfortable saying over the phones, okay?” I said carefully.

“Whatever you say!” She piped sarcastically.

“You are hopeless, you know that right?”

“Im not even going to answer that.” She laughed. “But yeah, ill see you later!”

“Laters skank!” I said jokingly, before hanging up.

I put my phone down and took my coffee upstairs to set about stripping the bed. I had never had a dream so vivid before, what had gotten into me? We hadn't even known each other for very long either, and I had certainly never had something like this happen with any of the guys I liked in the past…

It took about 5 minutes for me to strip and remake my bed - oh how I hated putting the cover on my double duvet! Always get into a mess trying to do it I thought to myself, scowling. I sat on the edge of the bed and downed the rest of the coffee in my mug before throwing myself back and closing my eyes.

There was so much I wanted to think about but my mind was just running circles on itself. I sighed and folded my hands behind my head. Just stop, I thought to myself. Just stop, and breath.

“Why am I even getting worked up about this?” I exclaimed.

“Because you like me, silly…” Came Lewis’ voice.

I snapped upright and stared at the door. There was no one there. Of course there was no one there, what on earth was going on? I picked up one of my high heels and padded slowly through the house - just to be safe. The spare bedroom was empty, as was the bathroom. I crept down the stairs and checked the living room. Empty. So was the kitchen. I checked the front and back door too - both still locked.

“Pull yourself together Helena!” I yelled. “God fucking dammit.”

I rubbed my eyes and decided a nice hot shower would probably do me the world of good. I made my way back up the stairs once again, replaced the shoe in my bedroom and made my way over to my dresser. I started with the top drawer and took out my silky red bra and panties and a pair of white socks. The second drawer held my shirts - I picked out a Depeche Mode t-shirt and moved to the third drawer and grabbed a pair of skinny black jeans. I laid them all on the bed and moved to the bathroom.

I stood in front of the sink for a while, just looking at myself in the mirror. I had changed so much over the past dozen years… I almost wished I hadn't. I missed the streaky dyed hair, I missed not feeling the need to cake my face in makeup… I missed being myself. When everyone said growing up sucks, I never believed them. I always dreamed of growing up, getting a job and having a family of my own, but now all I wanted to do was go back to being a teenager.

I ran the cold tap and splashed my face with cold water. Was this what a midlife crisis felt like? It couldn't be, I thought to myself, i'm not even in my thirties yet! I slid the dressing gown off and let it crumple into a heap on the floor before sliding open the shower door and stepping inside. I flicked on the taps and just stood, letting the water pour over me. For the first time that morning I felt somewhat relaxed.

I reached for the shampoo and squeezed a dollop into my hand, before massaging it into my scalp. This was what I looked forward to when I showered - it just felt so damn good. I rubbed and rubbed for a good few minutes, ensuring I hadn't missed an inch before rinsing it out and repeating the process with conditioner. Silky smooth hair? Check.

I shut off the water for a second and poked my hand out of the shower, searching for a flannel. Not a flannel… not a flannel… Flannel! I drew it back inside and closed the door and turned the water back on. I squeezed some shower gel into the flannel and went about cleaning myself - starting with my arms, before doing my collar bone and upper back. Next came my breasts… a vision of my dream last night flashed again - Lewis stroking my breasts…

“Its okay. Let yourself go.” Came Lewis’ voice again.

I shrugged and allowed myself to give in. I dropped the flannel to the floor and started rubbing my breasts as he had in my dream. The water raining down on my from above only enhanced the feeling. I put my back firmly against the clear wall and caressed myself slowly - my hands gliding gracefully around my soaked body. I ran my fingers down the inside of my thighs and felt a twinge course through my body; my heart hammering in my chest.

“Thats it.” Lewis said. “Just like that.”

I slid down the wall into a squat and with my index finger I traced the opening of my vagina and closed my eyes. In my mind Lewis was here with me; crouched completely naked, kissing my neck. With one hand I gently spread the lips of my vagina and inserted two fingers of the other inside. I moved as I dreamed Lewis moved - fingers hooked slightly towards my front and moving in a circular motion. Then a thought hit me; I removed my fingers and stood to remove the shower head from its bracket, and fiddling with the taps slightly so as to not burn myself, I slid back into the corner with one leg braced against the opposite wall, the other folded underneath me, before getting to work.

I brought the shower head closer to my nether region and teased the lips of my vagina with both my free hand and the jets of water. It felt fantastic. Keeping the shower head trained on its target, I moved my other hand to fiddle with my clit - it didn't take long for me to start moaning blissfully.

“You’ve still got it I see.” Lewis giggled.

“Oh shut up and just fuck me…” I sighed.

As these words left my mouth I came back to reality like someone breaking glass. I scooped up the flannel, repositioned the shower head and shook myself. I had to talk to him soon. Maybe then I would be able to stop imagining him in my house I thought, but for now I had better finish showering...

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