I awoke bleary eyed and cold. Why was I cold? I rolled over to check the alarm clock on the bedside cabinet and discovered the bed was soaking wet. I sat puzzled for a second while the events of last night flooded back to me. Flashes of images, hot and vibrant, so vivid appeared before me, and then faded.
“Lewis?” I called slowly. “Lewis?!”
No response came, of course, because ‘last night’ was just a dream. God dammit Helena, pull yourself together! You are Twenty Three years old and should have grown out of sex dreams a long time ago, I thought to myself. I rubbed my eyes and begrudgingly swung myself out of bed. Today was going to be a long day.
Grabbing my mobile and throwing on my dressing gown, I went downstairs to make some coffee and toast. Melissa had left me a message - ‘Are you still coming over tomorrow? Could do with some beers if you are!’ seeing as this was sent yesterday, the tomorrow would now be today. Fuck, I said under my breath. I forgot. I completely forgot about our girly night. I flicked on the kettle and rang Mel.
“Hello..?” Came her croaky greeting.
“I didn't wake you, did I?” I asked, spooning coffee and sugar into my mug.
“What do you think, smart arse!” She spat.
“I’ll take that as a no then, shall I?” I laughed. “So, tonights still happening?”
“Hell yeah its happening. Got plenty of films, and gossip. Just no beer!”
“Yeah yeah, I will fix that don't worry.” I said, filling my mug with boiling water and stirring.
“Good stuff. Hear anything from Lewis recently?”
“Funny you should say that…” I muttered.
“Come on, spit it out!” She said excitedly.
“Nope. My lips are sealed until tonight, at least.”
“Nawww. Whats the matter, cat got your tongue?”
“I just don't feel comfortable saying over the phones, okay?” I said carefully.
“Whatever you say!” She piped sarcastically.
“You are hopeless, you know that right?”
“Im not even going to answer that.” She laughed. “But yeah, ill see you later!”
“Laters skank!” I said jokingly, before hanging up.
I put my phone down and took my coffee upstairs to set about stripping the bed. I had never had a dream so vivid before, what had gotten into me? We hadn't even known each other for very long either, and I had certainly never had something like this happen with any of the guys I liked in the past…
It took about 5 minutes for me to strip and remake my bed - oh how I hated putting the cover on my double duvet! Always get into a mess trying to do it I thought to myself, scowling. I sat on the edge of the bed and downed the rest of the coffee in my mug before throwing myself back and closing my eyes.
There was so much I wanted to think about but my mind was just running circles on itself. I sighed and folded my hands behind my head. Just stop, I thought to myself. Just stop, and breath.
“Why am I even getting worked up about this?” I exclaimed.
“Because you like me, silly…” Came Lewis’ voice.
I snapped upright and stared at the door. There was no one there. Of course there was no one there, what on earth was going on? I picked up one of my high heels and padded slowly through the house - just to be safe. The spare bedroom was empty, as was the bathroom. I crept down the stairs and checked the living room. Empty. So was the kitchen. I checked the front and back door too - both still locked.
“Pull yourself together Helena!” I yelled. “God fucking dammit.”
I rubbed my eyes and decided a nice hot shower would probably do me the world of good. I made my way back up the stairs once again, replaced the shoe in my bedroom and made my way over to my dresser. I started with the top drawer and took out my silky red bra and panties and a pair of white socks. The second drawer held my shirts - I picked out a Depeche Mode t-shirt and moved to the third drawer and grabbed a pair of skinny black jeans. I laid them all on the bed and moved to the bathroom.
I stood in front of the sink for a while, just looking at myself in the mirror. I had changed so much over the past dozen years… I almost wished I hadn't. I missed the streaky dyed hair, I missed not feeling the need to cake my face in makeup… I missed being myself. When everyone said growing up sucks, I never believed them. I always dreamed of growing up, getting a job and having a family of my own, but now all I wanted to do was go back to being a teenager.
I ran the cold tap and splashed my face with cold water. Was this what a midlife crisis felt like? It couldn't be, I thought to myself, i'm not even in my thirties yet! I slid the dressing gown off and let it crumple into a heap on the floor before sliding open the shower door and stepping inside. I flicked on the taps and just stood, letting the water pour over me. For the first time that morning I felt somewhat relaxed.
I reached for the shampoo and squeezed a dollop into my hand, before massaging it into my scalp. This was what I looked forward to when I showered - it just felt so damn good. I rubbed and rubbed for a good few minutes, ensuring I hadn't missed an inch before rinsing it out and repeating the process with conditioner. Silky smooth hair? Check.
I shut off the water for a second and poked my hand out of the shower, searching for a flannel. Not a flannel… not a flannel… Flannel! I drew it back inside and closed the door and turned the water back on. I squeezed some shower gel into the flannel and went about cleaning myself - starting with my arms, before doing my collar bone and upper back. Next came my breasts… a vision of my dream last night flashed again - Lewis stroking my breasts…
“Its okay. Let yourself go.” Came Lewis’ voice again.
I shrugged and allowed myself to give in. I dropped the flannel to the floor and started rubbing my breasts as he had in my dream. The water raining down on my from above only enhanced the feeling. I put my back firmly against the clear wall and caressed myself slowly - my hands gliding gracefully around my soaked body. I ran my fingers down the inside of my thighs and felt a twinge course through my body; my heart hammering in my chest.
“Thats it.” Lewis said. “Just like that.”
I slid down the wall into a squat and with my index finger I traced the opening of my vagina and closed my eyes. In my mind Lewis was here with me; crouched completely naked, kissing my neck. With one hand I gently spread the lips of my vagina and inserted two fingers of the other inside. I moved as I dreamed Lewis moved - fingers hooked slightly towards my front and moving in a circular motion. Then a thought hit me; I removed my fingers and stood to remove the shower head from its bracket, and fiddling with the taps slightly so as to not burn myself, I slid back into the corner with one leg braced against the opposite wall, the other folded underneath me, before getting to work.
I brought the shower head closer to my nether region and teased the lips of my vagina with both my free hand and the jets of water. It felt fantastic. Keeping the shower head trained on its target, I moved my other hand to fiddle with my clit - it didn't take long for me to start moaning blissfully.
“You’ve still got it I see.” Lewis giggled.
“Oh shut up and just fuck me…” I sighed.
As these words left my mouth I came back to reality like someone breaking glass. I scooped up the flannel, repositioned the shower head and shook myself. I had to talk to him soon. Maybe then I would be able to stop imagining him in my house I thought, but for now I had better finish showering...
No comments:
Post a Comment